Stupid Wish

Santa is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."

Santa thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."

With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer.

Santa starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill.

The genie asks about his next two wishes.

Santa says, "I want two more of these."

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Santa goes cinema

Santa appeared at the box office of a cinema and bought two tickets. A few minutes later he returned and bought two more. When, after a short interval, he appeared a third time and offered to pay for two more, the ticket-seller opened the little door in the glass and spoke up. "Aren't you the same gentleman who just bought two tickets and two others just a little while ago?" she asked, puzzled. "Yes," replied Santa Singh plaintively. "But why do you need so many tickets and can't you buy them together in one go?" she queried.

"I only need two tickets but the problem is that stupid man at the door first asks for tickets, tears them into half and hands the remaining over to me," explained Santa.

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Santa's overnight stay

Santa Singh was traveling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Suddenly ,the photograph fell down from his pocket.He started searching for it frantically & found the same on the floor of the bus. Politely,he asked the saree clad female, standing in front of him,"Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph" The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital.

He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,in a still worse condition. Banta started to explain his "Adventure". He had gone to a remote village on some work & due to his high level of intelligence, couldn't finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied"I have 2 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".

He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay". He went towards the next house and without taking any risks,asked," Do you have "grown up" daughters?".

The Owner asked,"WHY?????????" Banta replied," I wanted to stay here for a night..... "

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Santa at his best

Once Santa Singh was travelling in a bus late at night. At one of the stops an old lady got into the bus. Santa Singh stood up and gave her his seat. The next morning the conductor asked Santa Singh if he was all right the previous night.

Santa said, 'Yes of course! What's wrong with giving your seat to an old lady like that?

The conductor said, 'Yeah, but you were the only one on the bus!'

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The Clock Tower

Santa Singh is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Santa says "Yes".

"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours Santa Singh figured he was taken for a ride.

On the next day the Santa is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."

Santa Singh gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and i'll go get a ladder."

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Train Driver

The Train Driver One train which was going  peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated  from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and  then came back on the tracks. The passengers were  horrified. On the next Railway station the driver  was caught : He was found to be a Sardar. When  he was questioned. He explained that there was a  man standing on the track and he was not moving  from there even after lots of honks etc . Then  authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad!  just to save life of one person  you put life of so  many passengers under danger. You should have run  over that person . Sardar said : Exactly, that  is what I also decided, but this idiot started  running towards the field when the train came very  close.

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Trick

Santa and Banta Singh were bitter enemies. Santa lived on the 1st and Banta on the 7th floor of the same building. One day the lift was out of order and Banta Singh decided to play a trick on Santa and called him for dinner to his house at 7:30 pm. So Santa huffing and puffing manages to reach the 7th floor. To his dismay he finds a big lock on the door and a message - 'HA HA ULLU BANA DIA!' Santa is angry buut thinks a lot and finally writes his reply below Banta's message - 'MAIN TO YAHAN AAYA HI NAHIN THA!!'

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Trainee Sardar

A sardarji joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,"Abey saale! Get me a coffee quickly!" The voice from the other side responded,"You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?" "No", replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" The sardarji shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?" "No.", replied the Managing Director. "Good!", replied the sardarji and put down the phone!

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Urine test

Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked,"So? Are you afraid?" First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying.The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied,"I have come for my urine test."

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Wash Basin

A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai,"Wash Basin".

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Why they can't do

Sardars' Business There were 4 sardars in Mumbai.  They decided to start a business. After  considerable discussion they finally decided to  start a hotel. They selected the best of  locations and cooks and built the hotel. The  hotel was inaugurated and was awaiting its first  customer. The sardars waited and waited but  nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed, but nobody turned up. WHY ?  .......... B'coz there was a sign at the entrance  "Visitors not allowed" After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They  bought the best of car servicing equipment's and  soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited  that day for the first car to arrive but no car  entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2  days, a week but no car came to their garage. WHY  ? B'coz their garage was on the first floor.  After this failure they decided to fall back on  the good old taxi driving. They bought a new  Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look  for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but  nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman  point yet nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody  hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on  driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed  their taxi. WHY ? B'coz all the four sardars  were sitting in the taxi!! All the 4 sardars were  very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to  push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines.  They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the  whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did  not move even an inch. They decided to rest for  the night and start the next day. The next day  the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldn't  move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi  wouldn't budge. WHY ? B'coz two sardarjis were  pushing from front and two from behind.