Posted By:jasmin On 7/18/2004 |
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TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." ************************************************************************ TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
ANDY: You told me to do it without using tables! *********************************************************************** TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
ANDY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it! ************************************************************************ TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
andy: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
andy: Yesterday you said it's H to O! ************************************************************************
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George! ************************************************************************ TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me! ************************************************************************ TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ************************************************************************ SILVIA: Dad, can you sign in the dark?
FATHER: Yes, I think so. What do you want me to sign?
SYLVIA: On this report card. ************************************************************************ TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.
*********************************************************************** TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ************************************************************************ Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime." ************************************************************************ Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father > > didn't punish him?" Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand." ************************************************************************ Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then? ************************************************************************ Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home |