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Must Read for "Married" and should read for "Bachelors"
Posted By:jasmin On 5/21/2005

Note : Sisters - Dont take this as serious.Just for laugh...Moreover dont tell my wife that I posted this....

- Uvais

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!             

--Anonymous

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.       

--Oscar Wilde

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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.    

--Scottish Proverb

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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

--Sam Kinison

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A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.    

--Anonymous

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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't,

They'd be married too.       

--H. L. Mencken

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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

--H. L. Mencken

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- "A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."

- U2

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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why! When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why?

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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,  you can be  sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.

--Anonymous

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"  She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"  I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

--Anonymous

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We always hold hands.  If I let go, she shops.

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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.  That was only for the estimate.                     

--Anonymous

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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.                   

--Anonymous

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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, and "Am I too late for the garbage?"  Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."

--Anonymous

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My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

--Henny Youngman

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

-Rodney Dangerfield

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

-Milton Berle

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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."  I asked her, "Where's the car?"  She replied, "In the lake."                           

-Henny Youngman

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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

-Henny Youngman

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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."  The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

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I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.

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A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"  The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, Son.

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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

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A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied,

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

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Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.  A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says, "Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

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Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" 

Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive




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