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Sardarji Jokes 1
Posted By:peer On 3/22/2006

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DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay.  They managed to get into a double- decker bus.  Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat,  But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.  After a while when the rush is over, Santa went
upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta  in a bad condition clutching the seats in front  with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are  Banta Singh! What the heck's goin' on? Why are  you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there  ?" Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver.

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English Exam

Banta singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and atlast I wrote THUNK !!!"

 


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Extra Drops

Santa and Banta were standing at their respective urinals when Santa glanced over and noticed Banta's penis was twisted like a corkscrew.

Wow," Santa said. "I've never seen one like that before."

"Like what?" Banta said.

"All twisted like a pig's tail," Santa said.

"Well, what's yours like?" Banta said.

"Straight, like normal," Santa said.

"I thought mine was normal until I saw yours," Banta said.

Santa finished what he was doing and started to give his member a shake prior to putting it back in his pants.

"What did you do that for?" Banta asked.

"Shaking off the excess drops," Santa said. "Like normal."

"Damn," Banta said. "And all these years I've been wringing it."

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Everything India

Santa's uncle was booked into an Air India flight. But as this was his first time in an airplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!"

So, as everybody was given his or her in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher, who was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked.

The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk India!" The uncle took out several pieces of chapattis and started feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the curious American. "Wheat India!" replied the uncle proudly.

Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American. "What is it?" asked the American. "Sweet India!" replied the old man.

After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud Pooooooooot!" from the uncle.

"And what was that?" asked the American in disgust. The old man replied coolly, "That's Air India!"

 

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LONG FLIGHT

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take  to fly to Amritsar?" " Just a sec," comes an  answer "Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!

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Last coach

A sardarji was working as editor in a daily  newspaper. Once he was travelling to Bombay to  deliver a speech about railway department  improvements. His coach was the last coach in the  train. The train was moving very fast and so  sardarji's coach was jerking heavily. This made  him not to prepare for the speech. Annoyed by the  event, next day in the meeting, his first point  towards improvement of railway department was There should not be last coach in any train.""

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Left hand

Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident. Banta was visiting him in the hospital. Banta: "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank Wahe Guru that it was your left hand, since you are right handed." Santa: "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!

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My name is not Santa Singh

One day Sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running ino his office and shouted, "Santa Singh, your daughter Preeto just died in an accident." Sardarji panicked.

Not knowing what to do next, he jumped from his office window. As he fell, he suddenly remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. He was near the 10th floor then. When he was near the fifth floor, he remembered he wasn't married. When he was about to hit the ground, the Sardarji realised his name wasn't even Santa Singh!

 

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Mental Hospital

Santa and Banta Singh were both in a mental hospital. Once they were walking past a swimming pool, Santa suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.

Banta promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom and pulled Santa out.

When the medical director became aware of Banta's heroic act, he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered him to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Banta the news, he said,' Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and
save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Santa, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Banta replied, 'He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry.'

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Microwave

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found  a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV,"  he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to  SARDARs, " he replied. He hurried home removed  his turban and changed His hair style, and  returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy  this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,"  Salesman replied. "Damn, he recognized me," he  thought. he went for a complete disguise this  time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big  sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again  approached the salesman. "I would like to buy  this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he  replied. Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you  know I'm a Sardar?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.

 

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Mother's Day

Santa's family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason his wife, Jeeto, was unusually quiet. Finally Santa asked what was wrong.

"Nothing," said Jeeto.

Not buying it, he asked again, "Seriously, what's wrong?"

"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as 'Thank you'."

"Why should I?" Santa said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day gift."

"Yes," Jeeto said, "but I'm their real mother."

 

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Mystery

Santa happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story.

The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery.

When Santa's turn came after many attempts by others. Santa's story was of just one sentence which read "Oh god, my wife is going to deliver a child".

Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked the american whether it contained all the four ingredients! American replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below:

Oh god: religion.

My wife: sex.

Going to deliver a child: suspense (whether a girl or a boy)

"Okay.... but where is the mystery?" asked one of the organizers.

Santa replied: who is the father? He was the winner for writing the shortest story!




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